The Movie Theater

In the city I grew up in there were three movie theaters. Every weekend I would gather together a few coins and run downtown and get in line for the matinee. I seem to recall most of the movies were in the cheesy horror movie vein, still the title of the movie mattered not. It was the whole "going to the movies" experience that I enjoyed as much as the actual movies themselves.

I remember that those lines were quite long, and sometimes the person selling tickets would slam the little window shut as they yelled, "ALL SOLD OUT." We would then run to the next theater that was located two blocks away, jump into that queue, and await out turn at the ticket window.

I really enjoyed the movie theater: It was comfortably air conditioned against the summer heat, the lights were always kept mysteriously low, and one could really experience the escape that moviegoing was. We had no video games, computers, VCRs, etc back then, hell, even television was limited to five or six channels, and that was only if you lived in an area that had a decent enough flat space so you could tune in your TV antenna. The movie theater was inexpensive big time fun for me.

After forking over the right amount of coins and getting the ticket, I would proceed into the lobby where the doorman would rip the ticket in half and allow my entry. On the walls, enclosed in huge glass cages, were the promotional posters for the current movie, and more posters of coming attractions. The images on those posters always caught my eye and my attention, and I eagerly awaited the next weeks posters.

Looking around the lobby one would notice the candy stand down at the far end of the room. Back then the popcorn was always popped right on location on the day of the show. Nowadays they pop the popcorn somewhere in middle America and ship it to the theaters in huge plastic garbage bags. Bleaah! Nothing beats the taste of freshly popped popcorn. I still enjoy it to this day.

Let's look in the counter, through the smudged glass, where you can spy Good N Plenty, Junior Mints, jujuB's, and lots more. A few more coins later, and I am armed with ample goodies and head off to the soda machine. The soda machine was very tempramental, and often did its thing out of sequence. Here's how it was supposed to work: you pointed the dial at the flavor of soda you wanted and inserted the appropriate number of coins. A cup would drop down, soda concentrate followed by water came next, and lastly you got a few ice shavings to keep it cool.
Unfortunately the darn thing worked correctly less than fifty percent of the time: usually the cup came out last, after the soda and ice had nicely decorated the front of the machine and the floor in front of it. If you complained to the manager, he usually laughed and said something like"You tried to buy a soda? Bwa Ha Ha, get outta here kid, ya bother me." Important life lessons presented at an early age.

Ok, now well provisioned, I headed into the theater proper. going from the brightly lit lobby to the near total darkness of the theater made me instantly blind. I couldn't see anything for a few moments, so I hung back as my eyes adjust to the low level of light.

Ok, I can see now. Let's try to locate the usher. I have to find out where the usher is hiding, so I can then plot my route to the closed off balcony. The theater manager always kept the balcony closed until the entire lower section of the theater had filled up, because keeping it open all of the time would increase the theater's cleaning bill.

Some kids are yelling at each other in the front row. Off goes our little movie version of the police, Mister Usher. Because I could see where he is headed, I could now sneakily access the balcony. Yeah! Up the stairs to the lobby, and then through more doors to the tippity top of the balcony we go. I have to be careful not to get caught up there, as they would toss me right out on my ear if they catch me in the restricted area.

Once in the balcony, I have to choose my perch properly. The lighting created lots of shadows and bright spots, and it was to your advantage to find a dark section from which to view the feature.

After spending a lot of my formative years in the movie theaters, I thought it would be a great life experience to actually work in the movie house. One spring day I opened up the local newspaper and spied an advertisement for an usher at my movie theater! I hopped on my bicycle and flew down there that day. After fibbing about my age I got the job! I was now a movie theater usher. Little did I know that there were a lot of behind the scenes activities for which I was responsible. In addition to controlling noisy kids in the theater proper, I was also expected to sell candy, change posters weekly, and also to change the marquee before every new show started. It was a lot of fun doing the marquee, as you got a box full of letters and a hand written note from the manager with the correct layout for the new movie. I remember doing things like putting my name on the marquee, putting up my favorite movies instead of the current movie, and generally having fun.

I had keys to the building and pretty much had the run of the place to myself, which I enjoyed immensely. This theater was originally a vaudeville theater, and there was a full compliment of dressing rooms under the main stage. One of the first responsibilities I had was to take a box of lightbulbs and go into every dressing room and see what I could find. I took a three foot length of iron pipe, a big flashlight, and the box of light bulbs, and off I went, exploring old eerie memories of a bygone era. I would kick open the door, shine the flashlight around to locate the light fixture, and change the bulb. I found lots of very old things, like old uniforms. posters and clothing. I gave them all to the manager. I was a good teenager.

I found some great memories in those dressing rooms. I found original King Kong and Fay Wray posters, which I presented to the manager. He looked especially pleased with me, and said that my current job was a lock. Years later I found out that those old posters were extremely valuable! Had I known that THEN, I might have put a few of those posters away for my future. Oh well...

The manager had a buddy who was a contractor, and he was hired to refurbish the aging theater. I got hired as his go-fer, and really enjoyed the work.

The theater had a plaster and wire lath curved ceiling that was surrounded with spotlights. Most of the bulbs had burnt out over time, and we had to replace them one by one. It was a lot more work that I though it would be, as we worked on a forty foot ladder, and we had to move it every few feet to access the next light fixtures. We also got the curtain running again, and we hooked up a stereo system to play music in between movies. We pulled out every other row of seats to allow a lot more legroom. We were building something that was ahead of it's time, and we were proud as we completed each section of the work.

Kids need good honest work. It feels good to have pockets lined with hard earned spending money when you are young.

Frank Zappa interview


Frank Zappa: I tend to view the whole thing as a conspiracy. It is no accident that the public schools in the United States are pure [naughty bits deleted]. It is no accident that masses of drugs are available and openly used at all levels of society. In a way, the real business of government is the business of controlling the labor force.

Social pressure is placed on people to become a certain type of individual, and then rewards are heaped on people who conform to that stereotype. Take the pop music business, for example. Look at the stereotypes held up by the media as great accomplishment. You see guys who are making millions of dollars and selling millions of units. And because they are making and selling millions they are stamped with the seal of approval, and it is the millions which make their work quality. Yet anyone can look at what is being done and say, "Jesus, I can do that!" You celebrate mediocrity, you get mediocrity. People who could have achieved more won't, because they know that all they have to do is be "that" and they too can sell millions and make millions and have people love them because they're merely mediocre. And that is reinforced over and over and over.

Few people who do anything excellent are ever heard of. You know why? Because excellence, pure excellence, terrifies the shit out of Americans because they have been bred to appreciate the success of the mediocre. People don't like to be reminded that lurking somewhere there are people who can do some [naughty bits deleted] that you can't do. They can think a way you can't think, they can dance a way you can't dance. They are excellent. You aren't excellent. Most Americans aren't excellent, they're only OK. And so to keep them happy as a labor force, you say, "OK, let's take this mediocre chump," and we say, "He is terrific!" All the other mediocre chumps say, "Yeah, that's right and that gives me hope, because one day as mediocre and chumpish as I am I can..." It's smart labor relations. An MBA decision. That is the orientation of most entertainment, politics, and religion. So considering how firmly entrenched all that is right now, you think it's going to turn around? Not without a genetic mutation it's not!

Reviewer: If you would focus on the message of pop music for a moment, what do you see as the issues of the 1980's that music can address today?

Frank Zappa: It can address anything it wants to, but it will only address those topics that will sell. Musicians will not address topics that are controversial if they want to have a hit. So music will continue to address those things that really matter to people who buy records: boy-girl relationships, boy-boy relationships, boy-car relationships, girl-car relationships, boy-girl-food relationships, perhaps. But safe. Every once in a while somebody will say "War is Hell" or "Save the Whales" or something bland. But if you talk about pop music as a medium for expressing social attitudes, the medium expresses the social attitude perfectly by avoiding contact with things that are really there. That is the telling point about the society that is consuming the product. If society wanted to hear information of a specific nature in songs, about controversial topics, they would buy them. But they don't. You are talking about a record- buying audience which is interested in their personal health and well-being, their ability to earn a living, their ability to stay young at all costs forever, and not much else.

54 was much to soon for FZ to leave us...